1
00:00:09,267 --> 00:00:10,367
ARE YOU READY, KIDS?

2
00:00:10,400 --> 00:00:12,133
Kids:
AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!

3
00:00:12,167 --> 00:00:13,867
I CAN'T HEAR YOU.

4
00:00:13,900 --> 00:00:15,467
( louder ):
AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!

5
00:00:15,500 --> 00:00:18,733
* OH...

6
00:00:18,767 --> 00:00:20,800
* WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE
UNDER THE SEA? *

7
00:00:20,833 --> 00:00:22,800
* SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

8
00:00:22,833 --> 00:00:25,200
* ABSORBENT AND YELLOW
AND POROUS IS HE. *

9
00:00:25,233 --> 00:00:26,700
* SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

10
00:00:26,733 --> 00:00:28,933
* IF NAUTICAL NONSENSE BE
SOMETHING YOU WISH... *

11
00:00:28,967 --> 00:00:30,267
* SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

12
00:00:30,300 --> 00:00:32,967
* THEN DROP ON THE DECK
AND FLOP LIKE A FISH. *

13
00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:34,767
* SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

14
00:00:34,800 --> 00:00:36,700
* READY?
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! *

15
00:00:36,733 --> 00:00:39,700
* SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

16
00:00:39,733 --> 00:00:40,733
* SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

17
00:00:40,767 --> 00:00:43,267
* SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

18
00:00:43,300 --> 00:00:45,433
( laughs heartily )

19
00:00:45,467 --> 00:00:49,067
[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
( plays airy tune )

20
00:00:49,100 --> 00:00:50,667
and NICKELODEON]

21
00:01:03,100 --> 00:01:04,167
( sizzling )

22
00:01:09,900 --> 00:01:15,133
( loud buzzing )

23
00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:23,000
( all pop to life
and commence buzzing )

24
00:01:34,833 --> 00:01:35,967
( pop )

25
00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:37,567
( buzzing )

26
00:01:44,167 --> 00:01:48,367
Krabs:
SPONGEBOB! SPONGEBOB!

27
00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:49,967
WAKE UP, BOY!

28
00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:51,367
YOU'RE BURNING
ME MONEY!

29
00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:53,233
( alarm sounds,
SpongeBob yelps )

30
00:01:53,267 --> 00:01:55,067
MR. KRABS, WHAT DO WE DO?

31
00:01:55,100 --> 00:01:56,300
HERE, USE THIS.

32
00:01:56,333 --> 00:01:58,067
( grunts )

33
00:01:58,100 --> 00:01:58,933
( clang )

34
00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:01,367
( flames whoosh )

35
00:02:01,400 --> 00:02:03,567
( both whine in fear )

36
00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:05,433
( blowing frantically )

37
00:02:05,467 --> 00:02:07,067
( teeth chattering )

38
00:02:07,100 --> 00:02:10,233
( imitating fire alarm )

39
00:02:10,267 --> 00:02:11,333
( gurgling )

40
00:02:16,100 --> 00:02:17,533
HOORAY!
HOORAY!

41
00:02:17,567 --> 00:02:21,400
( steam whistling )

42
00:02:21,433 --> 00:02:22,700
( sizzles )

43
00:02:22,733 --> 00:02:26,067
SPONGEBOB, COME
INTO ME OFFICE.

44
00:02:27,167 --> 00:02:28,733
WHAT'S WRONG, BOY?

45
00:02:28,767 --> 00:02:29,567
WELL, I...

46
00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:30,933
THIS IS THE FOURTH TIME

47
00:02:30,967 --> 00:02:32,533
I'VE HAD TO SCRAPE YOU
OFF OF SOMETHING.

48
00:02:32,567 --> 00:02:34,367
WELL, I'VE BEEN THINKING.

49
00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:36,800
WE NEED TO GET YOU
THINKING ABOUT WORK.

50
00:02:36,833 --> 00:02:39,267
NO OFFENSE, MR. KRABS,
BUT I'VE BEEN THINKING

51
00:02:39,300 --> 00:02:41,600
ABOUT GIVING UP
MY COLD INDUSTRIAL LIFE

52
00:02:41,633 --> 00:02:43,200
IN FAVOR OF
A MORE NATURAL

53
00:02:43,233 --> 00:02:45,467
AND FREE LIFE
AMONG THE JELLYFISH.

54
00:02:45,500 --> 00:02:48,133
( laughs heartily )

55
00:02:48,167 --> 00:02:52,200
( laughter echoes )

56
00:02:52,233 --> 00:02:55,533
AH... SPONGEBOB,
YOU WOULDN'T LAST

57
00:02:55,567 --> 00:02:58,033
EVEN ONE DAY
IN THE WILD.

58
00:02:58,067 --> 00:03:01,167
THIS IS YOUR
NATURAL HABITAT.

59
00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:04,033
THIS IS YOUR
WIDE-OPEN RANGE.

60
00:03:04,067 --> 00:03:06,900
THESE ARE
YOUR AMBER WAVES.

61
00:03:06,933 --> 00:03:11,233
AND THIS... OH, THIS
IS YOUR GOLDEN SCEPTER

62
00:03:11,267 --> 00:03:14,533
WITH WHICH YOU RULE!

63
00:03:14,567 --> 00:03:17,467
THAT'S BETTER THAN NASTY OLD
JELLYFISH, RIGHT, SPONGEBOB?

64
00:03:17,500 --> 00:03:19,200
SPONGEBOB?

65
00:03:19,233 --> 00:03:22,133
OH, I CAN TOO
LAST MORE THAN ONE DAY.

66
00:03:22,167 --> 00:03:24,200
I'LL SHOW HIM.

67
00:03:24,233 --> 00:03:26,233
AW, BARNACLES!

68
00:03:26,267 --> 00:03:27,633
SPONGEBOB, WAIT.

69
00:03:27,667 --> 00:03:28,933
( screams )

70
00:03:28,967 --> 00:03:31,600
OH, HE'LL BE BACK,
ALL RIGHT.

71
00:03:31,633 --> 00:03:33,600
HE'LL BE BACK.

72
00:03:33,633 --> 00:03:34,933
AND, SQUIDWARD

73
00:03:34,967 --> 00:03:37,533
I WANT YOU TO HAVE
MY CAN OPENER.

74
00:03:37,567 --> 00:03:41,533
AND I THOUGHT
THIS FRIENDSHIP
WOULD NEVER PAY OFF.

75
00:03:41,567 --> 00:03:43,133
ARE... ARE... ARE...

76
00:03:43,167 --> 00:03:46,100
ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT
TO GIVE ME THIS MAYONNAISE?

77
00:03:46,133 --> 00:03:47,567
IT'S ALL YOURS.

78
00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:52,233
AND THESE
OLD PHONE BOOKS?

79
00:03:52,267 --> 00:03:54,033
ALL YOURS, OLD FRIEND.

80
00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:56,533
PATRICK, THERE IS
ONE MORE THING

81
00:03:56,567 --> 00:03:58,667
I WANT YOU TO HAVE.

82
00:04:01,900 --> 00:04:03,733
( gasps )

83
00:04:03,767 --> 00:04:06,067
( panting with excitement )

84
00:04:06,100 --> 00:04:07,433
OL' RELIABLE?!

85
00:04:07,467 --> 00:04:08,800
( sobs )

86
00:04:08,833 --> 00:04:10,133
HOWDY, Y'ALL.

87
00:04:10,167 --> 00:04:12,567
HEY, SPONGEBOB, YOU
HAVING A GARAGE SALE?

88
00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:15,267
NO, SANDY, I'M GIVING UP
MY MATERIAL POSSESSIONS

89
00:04:15,300 --> 00:04:17,567
TO LIVE IN THE WILD
WITH THE JELLYFISH.

90
00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:19,567
SPONGEBOB, OF
ALL THE CRAZY SCHEMES

91
00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:22,200
WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO LIVE
AMONG THE JELLYFISH?

92
00:04:22,233 --> 00:04:24,733
THEY'RE COLD AND MEAN
AND NONE TOO BRIGHT.

93
00:04:24,767 --> 00:04:28,300
OH, SANDY, THAT'S EXACTLY
THE RESPONSE I WOULD EXPECT

94
00:04:28,333 --> 00:04:32,300
FROM SOMEONE WHO LIVES
THE SHAM OF A LIFE
I ONCE LIVED.

95
00:04:32,333 --> 00:04:34,733
I'LL PROVE I DON'T NEED
THIS STUFF TO BE HAPPY.

96
00:04:34,767 --> 00:04:37,700
MAYBE SOMEDAY YOU'LL
WISE UP AND JOIN ME.

97
00:04:37,733 --> 00:04:38,967
GOOD-BYE.

98
00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:40,367
( pop )

99
00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:42,467
I WON'T BE NEEDING THESE.

100
00:04:42,500 --> 00:04:44,933
BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ...

101
00:04:44,967 --> 00:04:48,700
HE TOOK OFF
HIS PANTS.

102
00:04:48,733 --> 00:04:49,900
I'LL GIVE HIM
A WEEK.

103
00:04:49,933 --> 00:04:51,767
I'LL GIVE HIM
11 MINUTES.

104
00:04:52,767 --> 00:04:56,300
PATRICK SAD!

105
00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:02,267
I'M HOME.

106
00:05:02,300 --> 00:05:04,767
I'M HOME! I'M HOME!

107
00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:07,200
I'M HOME, I'M HOME, I'M HOME,
I'M HOME, I'M HOME, I'M HOME

108
00:05:07,233 --> 00:05:08,633
I'M HOME, I'M HOME!

109
00:05:08,667 --> 00:05:11,233
( sudden buzzing )

110
00:05:11,267 --> 00:05:14,100
BROTHERS AND SISTERS,
WAIT FOR ME.

111
00:05:14,133 --> 00:05:15,900
( buzzing )

112
00:05:15,933 --> 00:05:17,267
BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ.

113
00:05:17,300 --> 00:05:19,867
OKAY, I'M HERE.

114
00:05:19,900 --> 00:05:21,933
WAIT, I JUST GOT HERE.

115
00:05:21,967 --> 00:05:25,233
MY JELLYFISH INSTINCTS
TELL ME TO GO...

116
00:05:25,267 --> 00:05:26,100
( slurps )

117
00:05:26,133 --> 00:05:27,433
( pops )

118
00:05:27,467 --> 00:05:29,533
THAT WAY.

119
00:05:29,567 --> 00:05:31,867
* BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ,
BUZZ, BUZZ... *

120
00:05:31,900 --> 00:05:34,667
( jellyfish buzzing )

121
00:05:37,100 --> 00:05:40,733
( chomping )

122
00:05:40,767 --> 00:05:42,433
( gags )

123
00:05:44,167 --> 00:05:46,633
MMM, THIS IS THE LIFE.

124
00:05:46,667 --> 00:05:48,233
HEY, EVERYBODY,
BUZZ, BUZZ.

125
00:05:48,267 --> 00:05:49,633
BUZZ TO YOU.

126
00:05:49,667 --> 00:05:51,067
BUZZ, BUZZ.

127
00:05:51,100 --> 00:05:52,267
NICE CURRENT TODAY.

128
00:05:52,300 --> 00:05:53,900
HEY, WHAT'S THE BUZZ?

129
00:05:53,933 --> 00:05:56,467
HELLO, I'M JELLYBOB--
AND YOU ARE...?

130
00:05:56,500 --> 00:05:58,133
( electricity crackles )

131
00:05:58,167 --> 00:06:00,900
UH... NICE TO MEET YOU.

132
00:06:03,900 --> 00:06:05,933
( sniffing )

133
00:06:05,967 --> 00:06:07,833
MMM.

134
00:06:10,767 --> 00:06:13,367
HERE, PATRICK,
HAVE A KRABBY PATTY.

135
00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:14,633
( choking up )

136
00:06:14,667 --> 00:06:16,133
THERE HE IS, PATRICK.

137
00:06:16,167 --> 00:06:17,400
SAY YOUR LINE.

138
00:06:17,433 --> 00:06:19,900
"WHY, THANK YOU, SANDY.

139
00:06:19,933 --> 00:06:21,867
"I WOULD LOVE ONE.

140
00:06:21,900 --> 00:06:24,067
"(TAKE PATTY).

141
00:06:24,100 --> 00:06:27,233
"TOO BAD SPONGEBOB
ISN'T HERE.

142
00:06:27,267 --> 00:06:29,700
"THESE ARE HIS FAVORITES.

143
00:06:29,733 --> 00:06:32,933
"I SURE WISH HE'D COME HOME.

144
00:06:32,967 --> 00:06:35,000
(TAKE BITE)."

145
00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:38,767
I CAN'T DO IT!

146
00:06:38,800 --> 00:06:40,033
SPONGEBOB!

147
00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:41,733
COME BACK!

148
00:06:41,767 --> 00:06:43,233
PATRICK, I'M NOT COMING HOME.

149
00:06:43,267 --> 00:06:45,633
I MISS YOU.

150
00:06:45,667 --> 00:06:47,067
SANDY MISSES YOU.

151
00:06:47,100 --> 00:06:49,867
EVEN SQUIDWARD MISSES YOU.

152
00:06:49,900 --> 00:06:51,533
WHOOPEE!

153
00:06:51,567 --> 00:06:53,733
( party music playing )

154
00:06:53,767 --> 00:06:55,767
I'M HAPPY HERE.

155
00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:57,967
THIS IS MY HOME NOW.

156
00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:00,667
( Sandy grunting )

157
00:07:00,700 --> 00:07:02,767
( sobbing )

158
00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:06,633
SPONGEBOB!

159
00:07:08,267 --> 00:07:09,933
( buzzing )

160
00:07:11,667 --> 00:07:14,167
HEY, EVERYBODY, I'M BACK.

161
00:07:15,633 --> 00:07:17,667
I THINK I'M GETTING
THE HANG OF THIS.

162
00:07:19,267 --> 00:07:22,567
( panting heavily )

163
00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:25,367
PATRICK, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

164
00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:34,467
IF I CAN'T HAVE YOU AS A FRIEND,
I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU A TROPHY.

165
00:07:34,500 --> 00:07:38,067
I EVEN PICKED OUT
THIS NICE JAR FOR YOU.

166
00:07:38,100 --> 00:07:39,800
PATRICK, GO HOME.

167
00:07:39,833 --> 00:07:41,633
I'M A JELLYFISH NOW.

168
00:07:43,233 --> 00:07:45,467
( gurgling cry )

169
00:07:47,333 --> 00:07:49,933
( panting )

170
00:07:49,967 --> 00:07:51,467
WOW!

171
00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:56,333
( continues gurgling cry)

172
00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:00,167
Patrick:
I CAN SEE YOU
THERE.

173
00:08:01,500 --> 00:08:02,633
I STILL SEE YOU.

174
00:08:04,133 --> 00:08:06,867
YOU'RE GOING
TO LOOK GOOD
ON MY MANTEL.

175
00:08:06,900 --> 00:08:10,167
FRIENDS FOREVER,
SPONGEBOB!

176
00:08:13,467 --> 00:08:18,233
( panting slowing down )

177
00:08:18,267 --> 00:08:20,767
AHH.

178
00:08:22,467 --> 00:08:25,367
I GOT YOU NOW, SPONGEBOB.

179
00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:26,200
( straining )

180
00:08:26,233 --> 00:08:27,733
PATRICK, NO!

181
00:08:27,767 --> 00:08:31,567
( SpongeBob panting,
Patrick yelling)

182
00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:42,100
( grunting )

183
00:08:47,267 --> 00:08:49,467
OKAY!

184
00:08:49,500 --> 00:08:52,267
SO THIS IS THE WAY
IT'S GOING TO BE.

185
00:08:52,300 --> 00:08:54,533
I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY.

186
00:08:54,567 --> 00:08:56,300
( groans )

187
00:08:58,300 --> 00:08:59,933
WELL, THAT'S OVER.

188
00:08:59,967 --> 00:09:01,833
BACK TO JELLYFISH MATTERS.

189
00:09:01,867 --> 00:09:02,633
( drip )

190
00:09:03,900 --> 00:09:06,400
MMM, JELLY.

191
00:09:07,300 --> 00:09:09,367
( buzzing )

192
00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:12,133
AH, MY JELLYFISH BRETHREN
ARE RETURNING.

193
00:09:14,233 --> 00:09:15,967
GREETINGS, COMRADES.

194
00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:20,433
( electricity crackles.
SpongeBob screams )

195
00:09:20,467 --> 00:09:22,200
( screaming )

196
00:09:22,233 --> 00:09:25,633
OW! OOH! OW! OW!

197
00:09:38,133 --> 00:09:42,067
BEING A JELLYFISH SURE IS FUN.

198
00:09:42,100 --> 00:09:44,767
BUZZ... BUZZ...

199
00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:45,767
( crack )

200
00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:46,833
BUZZ.

201
00:09:48,833 --> 00:09:50,567
( shivering )

202
00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:56,033
( pop )

203
00:09:56,067 --> 00:09:59,100
( resumes shivering )

204
00:09:59,133 --> 00:10:00,800
HEY!

205
00:10:00,833 --> 00:10:02,467
EW, I'M ITCHY.

206
00:10:02,500 --> 00:10:04,300
ITCHY-- WHY AM I SO ITCHY?

207
00:10:04,333 --> 00:10:06,067
( screams )

208
00:10:06,100 --> 00:10:08,067
POISON SEA URCHINS.

209
00:10:08,100 --> 00:10:10,567
OW, OW, ITCH, ITCH,
ITCH, ITCH, OW

210
00:10:10,600 --> 00:10:16,833
OOH, OW, OW, OW, ITCH, ITCH,
ITCH, ITCH, ITCH, ITCH...

211
00:10:19,067 --> 00:10:23,800
BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ

212
00:10:23,833 --> 00:10:28,567
BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ,
BUZZ, BUZZ

213
00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:32,200
BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ

214
00:10:32,233 --> 00:10:36,400
BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ,
BUZZ, BUZZ...

215
00:10:36,433 --> 00:10:37,567
( thud )

216
00:10:39,467 --> 00:10:42,867
( muffled ):
KRABBY PATTIES.

217
00:10:42,900 --> 00:10:43,867
BUZZ...

218
00:10:43,900 --> 00:10:44,867
( sniffs )

219
00:10:44,900 --> 00:10:45,733
BUZZ...

220
00:10:45,767 --> 00:10:47,633
( sniffs )

221
00:10:48,300 --> 00:10:49,800
SANDY...

222
00:10:49,833 --> 00:10:52,133
BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ...

223
00:10:52,167 --> 00:10:53,367
( sniffs )

224
00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:57,433
BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ...

225
00:10:57,467 --> 00:10:59,233
WHAT HAVE I DONE?

226
00:10:59,267 --> 00:11:03,267
I HAD A GREAT LIFE AND FRIENDS,
AND I GAVE ALL OF THAT UP.

227
00:11:03,300 --> 00:11:06,567
All:
WELCOME HOME, SPONGEBOB!

228
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:09,300
YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST.

229
00:11:09,333 --> 00:11:10,733
I MADE A HUGE MISTAKE.

230
00:11:10,767 --> 00:11:12,200
PLEASE FORGIVE ME.

231
00:11:12,233 --> 00:11:15,300
AH, QUIT YOUR BLUBBERING
AND HAVE A KRABBY PATTY.

232
00:11:15,333 --> 00:11:16,900
DON'T MIND
IF I DO.

233
00:11:16,933 --> 00:11:18,567
AND I'LL SEE YOU AT WORK

234
00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:20,600
FIRST THING
TOMORROW MORNING.

235
00:11:20,633 --> 00:11:22,600
AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!

236
00:11:22,633 --> 00:11:25,267
SPONGEBOB, DO US
ALL A FAVOR...

237
00:11:25,300 --> 00:11:27,433
DON'T MIND IF I DO.

238
00:11:27,467 --> 00:11:28,900
( snaps pants loudly )

239
00:11:28,933 --> 00:11:30,033
TA-DAH!

240
00:11:30,067 --> 00:11:31,767
AW.

241
00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:33,367
OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH.

242
00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:34,400
( growls
affectionately )

243
00:11:34,433 --> 00:11:36,900
( all ooh and ahh )

244
00:11:36,933 --> 00:11:38,200
( meows )

245
00:11:38,233 --> 00:11:40,333
COULD WE PLEASE
STOP THIS?

246
00:11:42,233 --> 00:11:44,633
PATRICK ITCHY.

247
00:11:44,667 --> 00:11:46,767
All:
OOH! OW! OH! OW! OOH!

248
00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:49,800
IT IS GREAT
TO BE HOME!

249
00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:06,133
( crowing )

250
00:12:08,633 --> 00:12:10,367
( snoring )

251
00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:12,367
( SpongeBob and Patrick
jabbering )

252
00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:13,433
HUH?

253
00:12:13,467 --> 00:12:15,767
( jabbering stops )

254
00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:16,967
( jabbering resumes )

255
00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:18,033
HUH?!

256
00:12:19,067 --> 00:12:20,600
( blows noisemaker )

257
00:12:20,633 --> 00:12:21,933
Both:
SURPRISE!

258
00:12:21,967 --> 00:12:24,933
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SQUIDWARD!

259
00:12:24,967 --> 00:12:26,700
* HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

260
00:12:26,733 --> 00:12:27,967
* HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAKE!

261
00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:29,367
* HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

262
00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:30,967
* PIN THE TAIL
ON THE SEA HORSE! *

263
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,667
* HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

264
00:12:32,700 --> 00:12:34,867
* HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SQUIDWARD!

265
00:12:34,900 --> 00:12:37,300
( SpongeBob cheering,
noisemakers blaring )

266
00:12:37,333 --> 00:12:39,300
SpongeBob:
SO LONG, SQUIDWARD,
BYE-BYE.

267
00:12:39,333 --> 00:12:40,967
DON'T DO ANYTHING
I WOULDN'T DO.

268
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:42,800
Patrick:
ANOTHER YEAR OLDER.

269
00:12:42,833 --> 00:12:45,533
IT'S NOT MY BIRTHDAY!

270
00:12:46,567 --> 00:12:48,133
THAT'S IT!

271
00:12:48,167 --> 00:12:50,933
I'M MOVING OUT
OF THIS NEIGHBORHOOD.

272
00:12:50,967 --> 00:12:52,700
Realtor:
ABSOLUTELY, MR. TENTACLES.

273
00:12:52,733 --> 00:12:54,833
I CAN SELL YOUR HOME
IN A HEARTBEAT.

274
00:12:54,867 --> 00:12:56,367
OH, THAT'S GREAT NEWS

275
00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:59,267
BECAUSE I WANT TO MOVE
AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

276
00:12:59,300 --> 00:13:02,733
NO PROBLEM... AS LONG AS IT'S
NOT INFESTED WITH NEMATODES

277
00:13:02,767 --> 00:13:05,200
OR SURROUNDED
BY TROUBLESOME NEIGHBORS

278
00:13:05,233 --> 00:13:06,800
OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

279
00:13:06,833 --> 00:13:08,667
OH, SURE, THERE'S NONE OF THAT.

280
00:13:08,700 --> 00:13:10,300
DID YOU SAY NEIGHBORS?

281
00:13:10,333 --> 00:13:12,000
Of course! I can't tell you

282
00:13:12,033 --> 00:13:14,367
how many times
I've seen a sale fall through

283
00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:15,700
because of bad neighbors.

284
00:13:15,733 --> 00:13:17,300
NEIGHBORS, UH...

285
00:13:17,333 --> 00:13:19,933
ANYWAY, I'LL BE BY TOMORROW
TO CHECK OUT THE HOUSE.

286
00:13:19,967 --> 00:13:20,933
SEE YOU THEN.

287
00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:22,833
SPONGEBOB.

288
00:13:22,867 --> 00:13:26,133
NO ONE WILL EVER BUY MY HOUSE
WITH HIM LIVING NEXT DOOR.

289
00:13:26,167 --> 00:13:29,300
WHATEVER A GOOD NEIGHBOR
WOULD DO, HE DOES THE OPPOSITE.

290
00:13:30,700 --> 00:13:34,867
OPPOSITE... OPPOSITE.

291
00:13:36,833 --> 00:13:38,667
( rooster crowing )

292
00:13:40,233 --> 00:13:42,467
( cacophonous music playing )
( yells )

293
00:13:42,500 --> 00:13:46,200
( playing loudly )

294
00:13:46,233 --> 00:13:47,500
UH, SQUIDWARD...

295
00:13:47,533 --> 00:13:49,500
WHY ARE YOU
PLAYING THE DRUM?

296
00:13:49,533 --> 00:13:50,600
DRUM?

297
00:13:50,633 --> 00:13:53,633
WHAT DRUM?

298
00:13:53,667 --> 00:13:55,867
THIS IS JUST
MY WIG CASE, SEE?

299
00:13:55,900 --> 00:13:57,100
( cackles )

300
00:13:57,133 --> 00:13:59,933
COME ON, SPONGEBOB, TACKLE ME!

301
00:13:59,967 --> 00:14:02,233
SQUIDWARD, YOU NEED BED REST.

302
00:14:03,767 --> 00:14:04,967
I'LL KEEP
YOU SAFE

303
00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:06,500
UNTIL YOU'RE
WELL AGAIN.

304
00:14:06,533 --> 00:14:08,467
OH, I GET IT.

305
00:14:08,500 --> 00:14:10,767
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT
DAY IT IS, DO YOU?

306
00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:12,800
UH, WEDNESDAY?

307
00:14:12,833 --> 00:14:15,133
WHY, IT'S OPPOSITE DAY.

308
00:14:16,967 --> 00:14:18,133
YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF IT?

309
00:14:18,167 --> 00:14:19,867
BOY, HAVE YOU BEEN MISSING OUT.

310
00:14:19,900 --> 00:14:22,467
OPPOSITE DAY IS
THE ONE DAY
OF THE YEAR

311
00:14:22,500 --> 00:14:24,533
WHEN YOU GET
TO ACT DIFFERENT.

312
00:14:24,567 --> 00:14:27,667
NORMALLY I'M
STUFFY AND BORING

313
00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:31,633
BUT TODAY I'M SILLY
AND SPONTANEOUS.

314
00:14:31,667 --> 00:14:32,767
( giggles )

315
00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:35,167
DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
ABOUT OPPOSITE DAY?

316
00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:36,633
OH, SURE.

317
00:14:36,667 --> 00:14:38,767
IT'S A GAME, GET IT?

318
00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:41,100
OH, A GAME.

319
00:14:41,133 --> 00:14:42,633
YEAH.

320
00:14:42,667 --> 00:14:44,867
NORMALLY, YOU'RE
REALLY LOUD AND ANNOYING

321
00:14:44,900 --> 00:14:46,867
SO WHAT ARE YOU
GOING TO BE TODAY?

322
00:14:46,900 --> 00:14:48,967
QUIET AND OUT OF THE WAY.

323
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:51,267
YAY!

324
00:14:51,300 --> 00:14:52,767
YEAH.

325
00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:54,333
WHY DON'T YOU GET A JUMP ON IT.

326
00:14:54,367 --> 00:14:56,367
( exuberantly ):
I LOVE...

327
00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:59,600
( gruffly ):
I MEAN, I HATE
OPPOSITE DAY.

328
00:14:59,633 --> 00:15:01,900
( giggles )

329
00:15:01,933 --> 00:15:03,933
( yelling ):
I'M NOT READY.

330
00:15:03,967 --> 00:15:06,467
SO LONG, CHUM.

331
00:15:06,500 --> 00:15:09,367
AND GOOD-BYE, BIKINI BOTTOM.

332
00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:10,533
( door slams )

333
00:15:10,567 --> 00:15:12,200
GARY, IT'S OPPOSITE DAY
AND I'M--

334
00:15:12,233 --> 00:15:13,833
WALK, DON'T RUN--

335
00:15:13,867 --> 00:15:15,867
AND I'M GOING TO...

336
00:15:15,900 --> 00:15:18,600
OPPOSITE, OPPOSITE.

337
00:15:18,633 --> 00:15:23,400
I'M JUST GOING TO CRAWL INTO BED
AND DO NOTHING ALL DAY.

338
00:15:26,233 --> 00:15:29,467
TOO BAD IT ONLY COMES
ONCE A YEAR, HUH, GARY?

339
00:15:29,500 --> 00:15:30,700
( meows )

340
00:15:30,733 --> 00:15:33,667
GARY, WHERE'S
YOUR HOLIDAY SPIRIT?

341
00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:34,800
( barks )

342
00:15:34,833 --> 00:15:36,367
( doorbell rings )

343
00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:37,600
COMPANY!

344
00:15:37,633 --> 00:15:39,133
I HATE COMPANY.

345
00:15:39,167 --> 00:15:40,967
WHO'S THERE?

346
00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:42,267
IT'S PATRICK.

347
00:15:42,300 --> 00:15:43,767
PATRICK... GO AWAY!

348
00:15:43,800 --> 00:15:45,800
I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!

349
00:15:45,833 --> 00:15:46,967
( giggles )

350
00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:49,533
( whimpers )

351
00:15:49,567 --> 00:15:52,267
( sobbing )

352
00:15:52,300 --> 00:15:55,167
SPONGEBOB DOESN'T
LIKE ME ANYMORE.

353
00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:56,700
THAT'S RIGHT.

354
00:15:56,733 --> 00:15:59,000
YOU'RE MY WORST ENEMY.

355
00:15:59,033 --> 00:16:01,700
( sobbing )

356
00:16:01,733 --> 00:16:05,267
PATRICK, YOU'RE NOT
REALLY NOT MY FRIEND.

357
00:16:05,300 --> 00:16:08,100
IT'S JUST OPPOSITE DAY.

358
00:16:08,133 --> 00:16:09,500
OPPOSITE DAY?

359
00:16:09,533 --> 00:16:10,533
HEY, I'VE
HEARD OF THAT.

360
00:16:10,567 --> 00:16:11,533
YOU HAVE?

361
00:16:11,567 --> 00:16:13,133
NO, WHAT IS IT?

362
00:16:13,167 --> 00:16:15,367
WELL, WHATEVER
YOU NORMALLY DO

363
00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:17,267
TODAY YOU DO
THE OPPOSITE.

364
00:16:17,300 --> 00:16:19,033
LET ME TRY,
LET ME TRY.

365
00:16:19,067 --> 00:16:20,333
( straining )

366
00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:26,467
( still straining )

367
00:16:26,500 --> 00:16:27,467
PATRICK!

368
00:16:27,500 --> 00:16:29,033
PATRICK, BREATHE!

369
00:16:29,067 --> 00:16:32,533
( exhales loudly )

370
00:16:32,567 --> 00:16:33,700
( gasping )

371
00:16:33,733 --> 00:16:35,633
NOT THAT OPPOSITE.

372
00:16:35,667 --> 00:16:39,033
LET ME SHOW YOU HOW TO DO IT...
THE WRONG WAY.

373
00:16:45,167 --> 00:16:46,167
MEOW.

374
00:16:47,333 --> 00:16:48,400
MEOW.

375
00:16:54,833 --> 00:17:01,067
( speaking gibberish )

376
00:17:01,100 --> 00:17:05,533
( laughing )

377
00:17:05,567 --> 00:17:07,267
SAY, WANT TO HELP ME

378
00:17:07,300 --> 00:17:10,800
DO SOME WORK
AROUND THE HOUSE,
WORST ENEMY?

379
00:17:10,833 --> 00:17:12,033
NOPE.

380
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:16,800
( laughing )

381
00:17:16,833 --> 00:17:18,200
( Squidward cackles )

382
00:17:18,233 --> 00:17:22,100
NEARLY NOON
AND NOT A PEEP FROM SPONGEBOB.

383
00:17:22,133 --> 00:17:25,100
I'M ALMOST SORRY I'M LEAVING.

384
00:17:25,133 --> 00:17:26,667
( cackles )

385
00:17:26,700 --> 00:17:27,967
OPPOSITE DAY.

386
00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:30,467
( crashing )

387
00:17:30,500 --> 00:17:31,967
SPONGEBOB, WHAT ARE YOU...?

388
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:33,000
( yells )

389
00:17:33,033 --> 00:17:34,933
HELLO, SQUIDWARD.

390
00:17:34,967 --> 00:17:39,833
OOP, I MEAN,
GOOD-BYE, SQUIDWARD.

391
00:17:39,867 --> 00:17:43,467
ISN'T OPPOSITE DAY... TERRIBLE.

392
00:17:43,500 --> 00:17:44,333
( laughs )

393
00:17:45,900 --> 00:17:49,500
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S TERRIBLE:
LIVING NEXT TO YOU.

394
00:17:49,533 --> 00:17:53,000
YOU'RE THE
WORST NEIGHBOR
IN HISTORY.

395
00:17:53,033 --> 00:17:56,233
WOW! THAT'S THE NICEST THING
SQUIDWARD HAS EVER SAID TO ME.

396
00:17:58,633 --> 00:18:01,333
IF THE REAL ESTATE AGENT
SEES THAT MESS

397
00:18:01,367 --> 00:18:03,067
I'LL NEVER SELL THIS HOUSE.

398
00:18:03,100 --> 00:18:06,167
Patrick:
ISN'T IT BEAUTIFUL?

399
00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:07,933
ON OPPOSITE DAY IT IS.

400
00:18:07,967 --> 00:18:10,300
( rumbling )

401
00:18:10,333 --> 00:18:12,467
OUT OF THE WAY, SPONGEBOB!

402
00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:21,167
( hammer pounding )

403
00:18:22,633 --> 00:18:24,833
I DON'T GET IT.

404
00:18:24,867 --> 00:18:26,133
I MADE MY HOUSE
A MESS

405
00:18:26,167 --> 00:18:27,667
WHICH WAS
MAKING IT CLEAN

406
00:18:27,700 --> 00:18:29,467
WHICH MADE SQUIDWARD
CLEAN MY YARD

407
00:18:29,500 --> 00:18:31,300
BUT THAT MEANS
HE'S MESSING IT UP.

408
00:18:31,333 --> 00:18:32,967
BUT THE OPPOSITE
OF CLEAN IS FILTH

409
00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:34,367
WHICH MEANS
FILTH IS CLEAN.

410
00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:36,100
SQUIDWARD'S MAKING
MY YARD A WRECK

411
00:18:36,133 --> 00:18:37,767
BUT I'D NORMALLY
WRECK MY OWN YARD

412
00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:40,200
SO SQUIDWARD'S
BEING THE OPPOSITE
OF SQUIDWARD

413
00:18:40,233 --> 00:18:42,000
WHICH MEANS
HE'S SPONGEBOB.

414
00:18:42,033 --> 00:18:44,333
AHA! I UNDERSTAND
EVERYTHING NOW.

415
00:18:44,367 --> 00:18:46,967
I MUST BE THE OPPOSITE
OF SPONGEBOB BY BEING...

416
00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:51,867
SQUIDWARD.

417
00:18:51,900 --> 00:18:52,867
HEY...

418
00:18:52,900 --> 00:18:55,833
I WANT TO BE OPPOSITE, TOO.

419
00:19:00,133 --> 00:19:01,667
YEAH, FINALLY!

420
00:19:01,700 --> 00:19:03,733
YOO-HOO!

421
00:19:03,767 --> 00:19:05,100
* I'M SQUIDWARD,
I'M SQUIDWARD *

422
00:19:05,133 --> 00:19:06,267
* SQUIDWARD, SQUIDWARD.

423
00:19:06,300 --> 00:19:07,933
WAIT.

424
00:19:07,967 --> 00:19:10,667
IT'S NOT ENOUGH TO LOOK LIKE
SQUIDWARD TO BE OPPOSITE.

425
00:19:10,700 --> 00:19:13,500
( imitating Squidward ):
YOU HAVE TO ACT LIKE HIM, TOO.

426
00:19:13,533 --> 00:19:15,667
BOY, OH, BOY, DO I LIKE
PLAYING THE CLARINET.

427
00:19:15,700 --> 00:19:17,967
I PRACTICE AND PRACTICE
ALL DAY LONG

428
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:19,433
BUT I NEVER GET ANY BETTER.

429
00:19:19,467 --> 00:19:21,333
( in his own voice ):
NOW YOU TRY.

430
00:19:21,367 --> 00:19:22,700
OKAY.

431
00:19:22,733 --> 00:19:24,333
( inhales )

432
00:19:24,367 --> 00:19:26,867
* I'M SQUIDWARD, SQUIDWARD,
SQUIDWARD, SQUIDWARD. *

433
00:19:26,900 --> 00:19:29,633
Both:
* I'M SQUIDWARD, I'M SQUIDWARD

434
00:19:29,667 --> 00:19:30,700
* SQUIDWARD, SQUIDWARD.

435
00:19:30,733 --> 00:19:32,967
AFTER YOU,
MR. SQUIDWARD.

436
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:36,600
WHY, THANK YOU,
MR. SQUIDWARD.

437
00:19:36,633 --> 00:19:39,667
YOU'RE QUITE WELCOME,
MR. SQUIDWARD.

438
00:19:39,700 --> 00:19:41,500
OPPOSITE DAY.

439
00:19:41,533 --> 00:19:45,800
NEXT TIME IT'S GOING TO BE
"GO JUMP OFF A CLIFF" DAY.

440
00:19:45,833 --> 00:19:47,000
( tires squeal )

441
00:19:48,133 --> 00:19:49,800
OH, MY.

442
00:19:49,833 --> 00:19:52,333
THE HOUSE IS EVEN MORE BEAUTIFUL
IN PERSON.

443
00:19:55,633 --> 00:19:58,300
HELLO, MIST...

444
00:19:58,333 --> 00:19:59,667
UM, MR. TENTACLES?

445
00:19:59,700 --> 00:20:01,533
YES, PLEASE COME IN.

446
00:20:01,567 --> 00:20:03,433
I PICTURED YOU
BEING MUCH TALLER.

447
00:20:03,467 --> 00:20:04,600
YEAH, EVERYONE
SAYS THAT.

448
00:20:04,633 --> 00:20:06,533
NOW, IF YOU WANT
THE SALE TO GO THROUGH

449
00:20:06,567 --> 00:20:07,833
YOU'VE GOT TO TELL ME

450
00:20:07,867 --> 00:20:11,133
ALL THE POSITIVE
THINGS ABOUT
YOUR HOUSE.

451
00:20:11,167 --> 00:20:13,633
POSITIVE THINGS-- OPPOSITE DAY.

452
00:20:13,667 --> 00:20:14,700
I'D LOVE TO.

453
00:20:14,733 --> 00:20:17,500
THE FLOOR CREAKS,
THE ROOF LEAKS.

454
00:20:17,533 --> 00:20:19,533
THERE'S
A TERRIBLE DRAFT.

455
00:20:19,567 --> 00:20:23,700
UH... WELL, YOU DIDN'T
MENTION THAT ON THE PHONE.

456
00:20:23,733 --> 00:20:25,700
PLEASE LET ME FINISH.

457
00:20:25,733 --> 00:20:27,200
THE WINTERS ARE HARD.

458
00:20:27,233 --> 00:20:28,933
THE SUMMERS ARE BRUTAL.

459
00:20:28,967 --> 00:20:32,000
THERE'S A WILD MAN-EATING CLAM
IN THE BACKYARD.

460
00:20:33,233 --> 00:20:35,200
WOULD YOU CARE TO SEE THE REST?

461
00:20:35,233 --> 00:20:38,433
WELL, I'M NOT SURE
IF I'M INTERESTED.

462
00:20:38,467 --> 00:20:39,533
NONSENSE.

463
00:20:39,567 --> 00:20:41,700
I WON'T TAKE NO
FOR AN ANSWER.

464
00:20:41,733 --> 00:20:44,600
( honking )

465
00:20:44,633 --> 00:20:47,333
PLEASE FOLLOW ME.

466
00:20:47,367 --> 00:20:51,500
AND HERE'S THE WORST ROOM
IN THE HOUSE: MY GALLERY.

467
00:20:51,533 --> 00:20:55,167
OH, MY, THIS PAINTING
IS VERY NICE.

468
00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:56,500
THANK YOU.
( screams )

469
00:20:56,533 --> 00:20:58,000
WHO'S THAT?

470
00:20:58,033 --> 00:21:01,233
I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE
YOU TO MR. SQUIDWARD.

471
00:21:01,267 --> 00:21:02,533
YOU'RE BOTH SQUIDWARD?

472
00:21:02,567 --> 00:21:04,300
I'M SQUIDWARD.

473
00:21:04,333 --> 00:21:06,133
HE'S SQUIDWARD.

474
00:21:06,167 --> 00:21:07,833
Both:
WE'RE BOTH SQUIDWARD.

475
00:21:07,867 --> 00:21:09,533
( sighs )

476
00:21:09,567 --> 00:21:11,000
WELL, THAT'S DONE.

477
00:21:11,033 --> 00:21:13,367
AT LEAST SPONGEBOB
HAS BEEN QUIET.

478
00:21:16,333 --> 00:21:17,867
( screams ):
NO!

479
00:21:17,900 --> 00:21:19,300
( playing squeakily )

480
00:21:19,333 --> 00:21:22,133
OKAY, I REALLY
DON'T WANT TO
HEAR ANOTHER ONE.

481
00:21:22,167 --> 00:21:23,200
OKAY.

482
00:21:23,233 --> 00:21:24,300
( tooting )

483
00:21:24,333 --> 00:21:27,133
I REALLY DON'T
WANT TO HEAR MORE,
THANK YOU.

484
00:21:27,167 --> 00:21:28,600
I HEAR YOU
LOUD AND CLEAR.

485
00:21:28,633 --> 00:21:29,933
( tooting )

486
00:21:29,967 --> 00:21:30,933
Squidward:
STOP!

487
00:21:30,967 --> 00:21:32,833
GET AWAY FROM HER!

488
00:21:32,867 --> 00:21:35,667
OH, OH, I AM SO SORRY, MA'AM.

489
00:21:35,700 --> 00:21:38,200
I-I HOPE THESE
TWO BARNACLE-HEADS

490
00:21:38,233 --> 00:21:40,467
HAVEN'T HARMED YOU IN ANY WAY.

491
00:21:40,500 --> 00:21:41,867
WHO ARE YOU?

492
00:21:41,900 --> 00:21:45,033
WHY, I'M SQUIDWARD.

493
00:21:46,633 --> 00:21:49,933
WHAT KIND OF FOOL
DO YOU TAKE ME FOR?

494
00:21:49,967 --> 00:21:50,933
HE'S SQUIDWARD?

495
00:21:50,967 --> 00:21:51,933
HE'S SQUIDWARD?

496
00:21:51,967 --> 00:21:53,367
YOU'RE SQUIDWARD?

497
00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:54,633
I'M SQUIDWARD!

498
00:21:54,667 --> 00:21:56,667
ARE THERE ANY
OTHER SQUIDWARDS?

499
00:21:56,700 --> 00:21:58,467
( in Squidward's voice ):
MEOW.

500
00:21:58,500 --> 00:22:01,100
I'M OUT OF HERE.

501
00:22:01,133 --> 00:22:02,567
MA'AM, PLEASE.

502
00:22:02,600 --> 00:22:04,367
WHAT ABOUT MY HOUSE?

503
00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:06,700
I WOULDN'T SELL A HOUSE FOR YOU

504
00:22:06,733 --> 00:22:09,467
IF YOU WERE
THE LAST SQUIDWARD ON EARTH!

505
00:22:09,500 --> 00:22:10,267
WAIT!

506
00:22:10,300 --> 00:22:11,267
DON'T...

507
00:22:11,300 --> 00:22:12,533
GO!

508
00:22:12,567 --> 00:22:13,333
( screams )

509
00:22:13,367 --> 00:22:16,933
NO, NO, NO!

510
00:22:16,967 --> 00:22:19,033
PLEASE SELL MY HOUSE.

511
00:22:19,067 --> 00:22:20,133
NEVER!

512
00:22:21,533 --> 00:22:24,133
DON'T LEAVE ME HERE!

513
00:22:24,167 --> 00:22:26,100
( crying )

514
00:22:26,133 --> 00:22:28,667
Both:
HAPPY OPPOSITE DAY, SQUIDWARD.

515
00:22:28,700 --> 00:22:31,033
WE HATE YOU.

516
00:22:32,633 --> 00:22:39,633
LET ME SHOW YOU GUYS
HOW MUCH I HATE YOU.

517
00:22:39,667 --> 00:22:41,367
( engine revs )

518
00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:43,633
( yelling )

519
00:22:43,667 --> 00:22:44,833
PATRICK, YOU EVER FEEL

520
00:22:44,867 --> 00:22:46,933
THAT SQUIDWARD
LIKES US TOO MUCH?

521
00:22:46,967 --> 00:22:50,400
HAPPY OPPOSITE DAY!

522
00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:58,300
[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

523
00:22:58,333 --> 00:23:00,600
and NICKELODEON]

524
00:23:30,900 --> 00:23:34,133
[Captioned by
The Caption Center
WGBH Educational Foundation]